Nikki Glaser Reveals Brutal Jokes She Minimize From Her Golden Globes Monologue

Whereas most of Glaser’s jokes have been successful and there are even rumblings that she might be requested again subsequent yr, the comic admittedly has some next-day gripes about her personal efficiency and is now revealing a number of the harsh jokes she lower from her monologue.

Sitting down with Howard Stern for his SiriusXM present on Monday morning, Glaser shared a number of the jokes that did not make it onto the stage on the Beverly Hilton Sunday.

“That is the final time all of you may be the identical room collectively till the Diddy trial,” Glaser quipped, revealing was one of many jokes.

“We had one other Diddy point out that labored higher … and also you solely get one Diddy point out,” she defined. “You are additionally accusing the individuals within the room of being concerned in that, and so they would possibly activate you.”

One other included a sensitive point out of the Catholic Church drama, Conclave.

“I cherished Conclave. It is concerning the selecting a brand new pope. It was heartwarming. It’s going to contact you a lot that the church should transfer it to a different theater. Scorching tip: You do not want ID to get into the Conclave after celebration,” Glaser shared.

“We did not do these as a result of they have been Catholic Church pedophile jokes — we have all heard them, we do not want extra of that,” she added.

One other was was a follow-up to her joke calling Adrien Brody a “two-time Holocaust survivor” for his look in two Holocaust motion pictures — The Pianist and The Brutalist — however she lower this half: “If Adrien Brody might return in time, he would thank child Hitler for his profession.”

“I cherished that one such a lot,” Glaser admitted. “However my assistant is Gen Z and she or he was like, ‘I do not get it,'” as a result of time journey/kill Hitler reference being, apparently, a bit dated.

“Oh we will lose a complete era on that joke, after which I’ve stated ‘Hitler’ for nothing,'” she reasoned.

There was additionally a joke referencing Luigi Mangione, who’s accused of murdering UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson: “Glen Powell is nominated tonight for Hit Man. Who would have thought you’d solely be the second-hottest hit man in America?”

Glaser additionally was set to take some jabs at Nicole Kidman, however held again.

“The Wild Robotic is nominated tonight — and by that I imply Nicole Kidman after two white wines,” Glaser shared, revealing the joke.

“I want we might have executed that, but when she makes a face…,” Glasser defined earlier than sharing her Timothée Chalamet joke.

“Timothée Chalamet took classes in guitar, dialect, motion and vocals to develop into Bob Dylan [in A Complete Unknown]. Whereas Bob Dylan grew to become Bob Dylan the old school means: heroin and autism.”

Alec Baldwin was a topic too, following a Beetlejuice Beetlejuice crack.

“Michael Keaton was so nice in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. And Alec Baldwin sadly didn’t come again to play a ghost as a result of he was too busy making them,” Glaser shared, referencing the capturing loss of life of Halyna Hutchins on Baldwins 2021 movie, Rust.

“Please know that I do know that was not good. It is such an important joke, but it surely’s simply too imply,” Glaser stated, revealing why she selected to depart that one out.

“This is Ben Affleck. I can not wait to see which Jennifer you attempt to destroy subsequent,” she shared, earlier than explaining that she already had a crack concerning the actor’s failed marriage to Jennifer Lopez after having one other Affleck joke in her monologue.

Glaser additionally revealed that she “tousled” the Affleck joke through the present.

Whereas Glaser stated, “Depraved, Queer, Nightbitch — these should not simply phrases Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms. These are a number of the unimaginable motion pictures nominated tonight,” the joke was purported to be “when he orgasms.”

“I stated ‘after’ and it actually bugged me,” Glaser famous. “It nonetheless works. It is simply much less clear. It is 2 p.c extra humorous [the other way].”

Whereas Stern identified that no one cares concerning the model of jokes they did not hear, Glaser stated the viewers would not understand how far more they might’ve appreciated it.

And although she was arduous on herself after the present, she stated that considered one of her writers assured her afterwards that she bought an “A+” following the internet hosting gig.

“I went to mattress blissful,” she stated.

Different jokes that did not make it included just a few jabs at Solely Murders within the Constructing and a joke about Dax Shepard. Stern additionally requested Glaser about how a lot she was paid.

“There was a previous host who stated how a lot he bought paid in his monologue,” Glaser stated, referring to Jerrod Carmichael revealing he was paid $500,000 for the gig when he hosted in 2023.. “I bought lower than that. It is OK. I will get extra subsequent yr. I truthfully would have executed it free of charge, it is such an insane platform. … [But] subsequent time I will ask for more cash.”

Whereas Glaser revealed that she hasn’t been formally requested to host once more subsequent yr, she’s assured she’ll be again.

“I can not think about they would not. … It is arduous to search out individuals to do these exhibits,” Glaser reasoned. “… [But] I’d by no means be capable to dwell with myself if I turned it down as a result of I am terrified of bombing.”